Street Preachers

While attending UNO you might notice one day while walking to class past the Student Center cries of salvation rising from somewhere ; the street preachers have arrived. Yes street preachers, the only force that can make Muslims and Atheist stand side by side and say, "What the hell is this". These people normally show up on the nicest days of the semester just to ruin your time outside in the beautiful weather.

Normally harmless and just annoying, they specialize in multiple tactics to subdue you into listening into their message. Here are the most prominent tactics:

The hand out: The simplest of all their weapons, these handouts normally have some sort of short verse on them or a threat like, "Repent or Burn!!!" , well not exactly that but you get the picture.

Mentally Disabled Children: Yes you read that right; a specialty of Jews for Jesus, they provide them with hand outs to give to students who cannot turn them down without being a horrible person. The best way to avoid this is to hunker down in a building and wait for them to pass by.

Hate: More or less this is just a preacher standing and yelling that homosexuals are going to hell, but it works. Normally this gets groups of students to stand around and yell back at the preachers causing huge crowds to form. Best to just walk around unless you feel like getting into an arguement of I know what you are but what am I.

Signs: Normally not as good of an idea as it sounds. The use of signs usually ends in the wind picking up and blowing them over. Fun to watch.

Candy: What can I say, if a stranger offers me candy I'm going to take it.

These are the premier methods used by the Street Preachers of UNO. Avoid if you can but if you cannot just put your headphones in and pretend that they don't exist. If they hassle you too much just head on over to The Bull and rub its (see other article) and wish them away!

174.74.88.139 03:26, May 8, 2015 (UTC)Jake